Wednesday, February 7, 2007

The Adam Darkwood Conspiracy Depth Chart

I am writing in a state of sleepless near delirium as I work day 3 of a 20 day (4 week) night shift stint to help unroll a new account at my company. I thought I might toss out a post to please the 3-6 loyal readers and 2-3 female stalkers I have already secured after my first two ramblings. I figure I just called China - why not blog for a bit. My goal for this third post is to be mildly unfocused yet still strangely entertaining as I write stuff that I'm sure to slightly regret when I come to my senses tomorrow. C'est la vie.

The Adam Darkwood Conspiracy is a band name I came up with for Athens music legend Derek "Catfish" McTavish a year or two ago in honor of Adam Dark. Something you should know about Adam Dark is that he is one of the top 3 guys in his singles ministry at Second Baptist Church (not to be confused with 1st or 3rd) in Springfield, Missouri.

Anyway, I was able to have an unexpected visit with Mr. Dark this evening. While talking about recent life ongoings, Adam said, "Seriously, Garrick, it's great to have a couple of girls on the depth chart again." One can easily surmise that those two girls probably wouldn't be completely pleased to learn they are on a "depth chart" as if they are QB's for UGA football. Then again, it is Adam Dark. This is the guy that grandmothers and sisters throughout Marietta are trying to set up with Katie B so perhaps it wouldn't be so bad for these lucky, lovely young ladies.

For those wondering if I have a depth chart, the answer is not exactly although I bet this blog would get more hits if I started putting things like that on here. It would certainly expedite the process of clearing up my romantic life. Any girl on the chart, even if it ran four deep, could simply respond in my blog comments section regarding how she felt about her status. For example, she might write, "I'm not really interested in being first string and I'd like to transfer to another school" or "I'm sitting at number two but would really like more playing time - please consider announcing me as the starter this week." So simple yet so highly unrealistic and unromantic. It's probably just easier to go the "You've Got Mail" route.

Garrick: "Don't cry, Shopgirl. Don't cry."
Girl at Top of Depth Chart: "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly."

Remember that anything I just wrote cannot be used against me as I have the "I haven't slept since 5:30 PM" card to throw down.

To whet your appetite, here are a few blog topics I have in the hopper: Some thoughts on diversions and Blaise Pascal, Valentine's Day (TBA) and why I do not want to go into politics. Stay tuned.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Garrick, I am excited about your new blog. I too am thinking of starting my own blog. We'll see.

In regards to this depth chart that you speak of...while it does seem to be a bit unromantic and male-piggish it strikes me as highly practical. How can we get the ladies to get on board with this or similar ideas.

Now I don't know anyone who actually has implemented any such depth chart, but I have heard it rumored lately that there is a "list" here at ATS that is circulating around the womens dorms and other places that single women tend to congregate.

I am curious to know if such a list really exists and if so why do women feel that they can exercise such a practice and not expect men to take offense.

Hey, I just want to know where I rank or what it says about me so that I can quit wasting my time if that would be appropriate.

Hey Garrick, if I ever come across an actual list I will try to get an older copy and clue you in as to where you ranked, but maybe this is knowledge we really don't want, come to think of it. It seems to me to be a bit of a potential Pandora's box.

What do you think and have you heard rumors past about such a list?

Mike Collins

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